Fully pregnant with another daughter, I often find myself reexamining my lost relationship with my mother. Though I've reached out and am working at building relationships with women, I'm a long way from feeling any sense of she-rah gentle goddess power. Not really ever having a tribe of women experience, I've always tried to compete with the boys. This has meant giving up a lot of the feminine stuff along the way.
But now I crave it. I guess that's what happens when you don't practice moderation. I worry that I won't give them the softness of a woman. I don't want them to feel like they have to choose between smart and successful and girl stuff. As Ani DiFranco says: Like the color of my lipstick is a sign of my declining mind. But when I watched sevi with the baby doll, I knew it is in there like a little imprinted memory. I just have to trust it and pay attention when I see it.