I've also been having this strange 'my life as a blog' moment that makes me a little uncomfortable. Drew and I forgot our camera on our amazing first weekend without the baby and it really made the trip different. I mean we just enjoyed stuff -- didn't have to stop to get that one great shot of the canyon and reflect on the canyon of our life - but just stood and stared, in awe of it in silence for a moment.
It seems I see my days as a microlife, in a series of blog posts: the perfect picture I would take, that great one line I'd end with, and actually choosing to do one activity over another because it would make a better blog post. Ugh. There's even those words I keep saying when I'm with friends, "have you read my blog lately, I actually did a post on it" when talking about my happenings and thoughts so as not to tell the same story again -- or something. Why not just share em, these people are actually live after all?
So, if you haven't noticed I'm taking a little snooze. I'll try to get here as often as I feel called to, so please still visit once in a while! Gosh, I'm no good at commitment. Hey-- that would make a great blog post...
See you soon!
Be grateful to everyone.
im driving home and a giant truck with those weird lights on top that look like mickey mouse ears, you know the one you need a ladder to get in to, speeds up in the 'you are supposed to merge into my lane' lane on the on ramp to the freeway and really guns it.
out loud, with no one else in the car, i slow down a bit and gently say:
go ahead honey. i had a good day and i really don't feel like ending it by being run over by a giant penis.
The all American past time of playing Rock Band. He's concentrating so hard!
It must have been on my mind though cuz just yesterday I posted on Sevi's blog about dancing in the wind and I started to write about music after finding the wonderment that is http://www.list.fm/.
Baby music classes.
Mom's have fun too!
Don't forget to check out music in other corners of the world. And join us next week with 'staple foods' if you dare.
jane, ladybug-zen, ian, bonnie, esti, sophie, cele, modsquad,caitlin, joyce, ani, kim, a day that is dessert, natsumi, epe, kaylovesvintage, trinsch, c.t., jeannette, outi, schanett, ritva, francesca, state of bliss, jennifer, dana, denise, cabrizette, bohemia girl, dianna, isabelle, amber, a girl in the yellow shoes, mister e, janis, kari, jgy, skymring, elizabeth, audrey, allison, lise, cate, mon, victoria, crescent moon, erin, otli, amy, ida, caroline, lisa, dorte, kimmie, la lune dans le ciel, nicola, malo, vanessa, britta, virgina, april, b, kyndale samantha, karen, kristina, dorit, goldensunfamily, sophie, janet, mcgillicutty, desiree, di, travelingmama, aimee, sunnymama, amanda, ali, jenell, guusje, britta, juanita, pamela, inna, daan, myrtille, cris, ibb, susi, jodi, lily, gillian, jeanette, athena, pienduzz, latisha, clairette, satsuki
Since I'm constantly looking for a magic mirror about how this whole writing thing is gonna turn out, I wrote her back and asked for her advice to a budding writer. I also wanted to know how she did it without the MFA in journalism or creative writing from Columbia or somewhere. As these are the source of many doubts I have about my impending success or failure. I'm a degree person, racking up too many certificates, BA's, AA's, and other alphabet soup to support my delusion that with education, with degree, I must be able to succeed -- or at least if I don't, I have some legitimacy. That's what my whole generation went to college thinking. That's the thinking that created the online education industry that now rakes in over $60 billion a year. So now we've got barista's with four year degrees making $8/hour. I'm sure that class on Comparative Studies of Religion and Art in 15th century India really helps when steaming that milk. My recent exposure to those lattes is what's keeping me from falling so quickly this time for the degree in writing trap. But, I still wonder if I should...
Anyway. Here's what she said of my questions: it's all about patience. Keep writing. Write what's in your heart, stop if it isn't working and switch to something else. But keep trying and know that it will take time.
I love this. In fact from asking every writer I know, what I'm figuring out is, that persistence and patience is really all it takes. All it takes? Yeah, I know as I write this I'm counting the number of times I've sat down to write in the last months very quickly. Making yourself come to the table everyday is a skill. An art form even. But, I'm confident if it's done, success will follow. It always has.
So then I wanted to know about being a writer, and here's where she offered the advice I'd yet to receive from anyone: Know that you have something to offer the world--that no one else can.
Every time I have a great idea, I think someone else has written it, or blogged about it, or submitted the book proposal for it. The thing is, though we all share many of the same experiences, we each have our own story to tell. It's what we find in the differences that make them compelling. A good friend recently said, of reading countless meditation and spirituality books: "No matter how many times it's told to me, I never tire of hearing it. Each one is told in a different way and speaks to me at a different moment in my life." So now I just have to figure out what it is I have to offer. Which brings us back to her first point. At the top of her blog is a quote that begins: Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. ...live in the question.
I'm eating up the advice of this storyteller and going to start having a little patience with my own unsolved mysteries. Please check her out. She's got a great blog. And an insightful 'on writing' bit where she talks about her method and offers a little more advice. I'll let you know when I'm done with Eve, so far I'm absolutely satiated.
Change is crazy. It makes me crazy anyway. I'm a fragile hippie gypsy trapped in a typical type-A body. It's sort of a Jekyll and Hyde situation. I literally tear apart my clothes and my laboratory when anything switches around. So the fact that, my world, my household, my people have been undergoing a cosmic shift these last few weeks has been, well, a little messy. It seems to me however, things have settled, at least for now, and I'm feeling a bit more at peace. I think it's fitting that this comes on the weekend of the summer solstice, the longest day of the year.
I've always been taken in by the idea of celebrating these magical days, picturing myself dancing around in my druid costume, honoring the heavens, seeing the night sky reflected in the great stones as we walk the long walk up the grass to gracefully accept the changing of the season. This year I may actually get my chance. A painful yet wonderful personal event earlier this year has prompted me to make the ideal a reality.
I'm getting more comfortable in my mommy skin, shedding the last bits of a depression I didn't realize existed. Sevilla is turning into a live little person complete with opinions and choices, which for me is so much easier than the grunty baby thing. I've recently experienced a family loss, which I have not fully honored, but has left me feeling as though every minute counts. My amazing husband has secured a fabulous new job complete with much better pay, but more than that, something he is proud of.
We are off to celebrate this weekend, not knowing what we were celebrating or how we would pay for it when we planned it a couple of months ago, just knowing it was time for celebration. We've been practicing gratitude and changing our intention over the last weeks and it's paying off. We will be stretching out the longest day of the year, taking in every second as we dance around in our druid costumes welcoming all this new change in a fancy spa in Scottsdale. We're not taking Sevi. She'll be celebrating her own change in her first overnight trip with the grandparents. Everyone is growing up.
Here's to you embracing your own changing of the seasons and that you celebrate every last second of this solstice weekend.
jane, ladybug-zen, ian, bonnie, esti, sophie, cele, modsquad,caitlin, joyce, ani, kim, a day that is dessert, natsumi, epe, kaylovesvintage, trinsch, c.t., jeannette, outi, schanett, ritva, francesca, state of bliss, jennifer, dana, denise, cabrizette, bohemia girl, dianna, isabelle, amber, a girl in the yellow shoes, mister e, janis, kari, jgy, skymring, elizabeth, audrey, allison, lise, cate, mon, victoria, crescent moon, erin, otli, amy, ida, caroline, lisa, dorte, kimmie, la lune dans le ciel, nicola, malo, vanessa, britta, virgina, april, b, kyndale samantha, karen, kristina, dorit, goldensunfamily, sophie, janet, mcgillicutty, desiree, di, travelingmama, aimee, sunnymama, amanda, ali, jenell, guusje, britta, juanita, pamela, inna, daan, myrtille, cris, ibb, susi, jodi, lily, gillian,
jeanette, athena, pienduzz, latisha, clairette, satsuki
This is from the beautiful poet Maya Stein.
how to climb a mountain
Make no mistake. This will be an exercise in staying vertical.Yes, there will be a view, later, a wide swath of open sky,but in the meantime: tree and stone. If you're lucky, a hawk will coast overhead, scanning the forest floor. If you're lucky,a set of wildflowers will keep you cheerful. Mostly, though,a steady sweat, your heart fluttering indelicately, a solid ache perforating your calves. This is called work, what you will come to know,eventually and simply, as movement, as all the evidence you need to make your way. Forget where you were. That story is no longer true.Level your gaze to the trail you're on, and even the dark won't stop you.
Peas always put me in that in between place. Just before the last of it, just before the first of it. A safe place I've been hanging around a lot lately. Though the peas know to come at that perfect moment between spring and summer for just a short time where they are plentiful, purposeful, and delicious, I seem to long for that place often but often stay in that place too long. They know when to go. They know their place. I wish I knew mine.
It's the addicting excitement about new ideas, rebirth, and the constant feeling of being soaked in growth and discovery. Not actually doing anything, just finding them. I'm full of great ideas all the time. Basking in fresh spring mornings full of budding life I loathe the summer and it's demand for stillness, reflection, and sitting. Creating and doing is fun. Being at peace is work.
But this summer I'm trying. I'm letting deadlines go and not staying up nights thinking about them (honest). I'm sitting in the splash pad instead of sitting at my computer. I'm buying shampoo and fine with it. I'm watching her. Just watching. And smiling. I'm taking all day to finish one load of laundry and all week to unload the dishwasher.
And, at least for the summer, I'm NOT taking three days to make Wednesday Dinners. As an apprentice to nature, I understand the need for rest and even death in order to encourage new growth. So if the seasons can take a break, so can I. But in true bohomisfit fashion (inspired by a cooking class I took a couple of years ago from an original Phoenix locavore as well as a major 'get up trinity' morning last week), I had to go out with a bang. I mean, a snap and a hiss.
Sea Scallops in a Pea Tendril Broth topped with Pea Asiago Pesto
Saute 1 medium yellow onion and several heads of garlic in olive oil in a quart sized-sauce pan. Add discarded pea tendrils (from shucked fresh peas used below) and fill with vegetable broth (we make our own, but boxed or powder should be fine) or chicken broth. Add small amount of celery and carrot . Bring to a boil. Simmer while preparing the rest of dish.
2 cups fresh peas (this was my yield after shucking 4 pounds)
1/2 cup-ish asiago cheese (also negotiable could try parma, sharp cheddar, manchego)
olive oil as needed
1/2 cup nuts (i used hazelnuts cuz that's what i had but I imagine it'd be good with anything)
1/2 cup fresh parsley
2 TB lemon juice
salt and pepper to taste
Place peas, cheese, lemon juice, parsley, and nuts in food processor and blend. Stream in olive oil until desired consistency. Add salt and pepper to taste.
Lightly saute 1 cup of peas in a pan with olive oil. Push peas aside and saute scallops about 3-5 minutes on each side until slightly browned and firm but not hard.
Place three scallops in a shallow bowl. Cover with broth. Add a large dollop of pesto atop each scallop. Sop up remaining broth and extra pesto with a yummy European bread.
If a subject or challenge is newly presented I usually take it on with the excitement of a dog with a new toy. Ever chewing and tugging at it until not only has it lost any resemblance to a bone it is covered in my nasty slobber turning it some horrifying shade of gray. I will own this challenge. With research and development, with persistence and arrogance I know I will overcome.
So I read. A lot. I read books, newspaper articles, blog opinions. I google it. I ask everyone I know. Then I observe. Watching behaviors and habits taking notes and calculating efficiencies. Finally, I experiment. One, two, three, twenty times if I have to. I have, after all, a ton of educated research behind me.
Then one day, she walks over, and just chooses one. Loves it. It doesn't spill. We already own it (read no spending money). And I cry, just a little. I am in control...I am in control...I am...