The details

Man, I am having a hard time showing up here lately. That's not to say I haven't been writing. Yay me! Just too much and too crazy unorganized weirdness to post it here. I just can't seem to get in a 500 or even 1000 word shorty that I want to share.

I've also been having this strange 'my life as a blog' moment that makes me a little uncomfortable. Drew and I forgot our camera on our amazing first weekend without the baby and it really made the trip different. I mean we just enjoyed stuff -- didn't have to stop to get that one great shot of the canyon and reflect on the canyon of our life - but just stood and stared, in awe of it in silence for a moment.

It seems I see my days as a microlife, in a series of blog posts: the perfect picture I would take, that great one line I'd end with, and actually choosing to do one activity over another because it would make a better blog post. Ugh. There's even those words I keep saying when I'm with friends, "have you read my blog lately, I actually did a post on it" when talking about my happenings and thoughts so as not to tell the same story again -- or something. Why not just share em, these people are actually live after all?

So, if you haven't noticed I'm taking a little snooze. I'll try to get here as often as I feel called to, so please still visit once in a while! Gosh, I'm no good at commitment. Hey-- that would make a great blog post...

See you soon!

Indie Week

I've been so busy with so many fun creative projects and changes that I really haven't even had 5 minutes to muse here recently. But I wanted to make sure I shared the Indie Week Event LFA is sponsoring this week. Take the pledge to buy local June 29th - July 5, get your 20% off coupon and try out a new coffee shop or restaurant.

Remember 40 cents of your dollar stays here when we buy here. But that's only one reason to buy local. Supporting small independent businesses grows our state culturally and provides a rich fabric for us to truly enjoy life while making an impact.

I hope to do at least three or four of the following:

buy a birthday present for my stepmother

dragging sevilla around for a day of shopping, shopping

getting a couple of new notebooks for writing

replacing the dead flowers on my table

restocking my tea jar

plan a k-razy date night with drew

buy myself some note cards and a pack of tarot cards

grab some paints for sevilla's new easel

and of course we'll be checking out first Fridays. here's a few places I'd love to stop in:

Practical Art on Central

Bunky Boutique
Bomberos

Bards

I know it's linkin land. But check out the list of golden ticket participants and challenge yourself to trade a trip Target or Starbucks for one of these great shops.

Have fun!

Asleep In the Mud

In the midst of all the amazing bounty we have enjoyed recently, I'm still perplexed by complicated relationships in my life. Do I love 'em or leave 'em? I'm a hot button kinda gal and there are always people in your life who find those buttons. One girlfriend says the key to her happiness is eliminating all the negative people from her life. She just doesn't have time for it. Too bad I can't just buy the T-shirt. Anyway thanks to a beautiful hippie gypsy I've been reading this great book that kept me up till 1 am. It's one American Buddhist's commentary on the Lojong teachings of the Tibetan monks.

On lucky page 13, I found the following:

Be grateful to everyone.

Others will always show you exactly where you are stuck. They say or do something and you automatically get hooked into a familiar way of reacting -- shutting down, speeding up, or getting all worked up. When you react in the habitual way, with anger, greed, and so forth, it gives you a chance to see your patterns and work with them honestly and compassionately. Without others provoking you, you remain ignorant of your painful habits and cannot train in transforming them into the path of awakening.

So here's to practicing a little more compassion and being grateful to those who help show me where I'm stuck.

mine's bigger than yours

and after the most delicious day i've had in i can't remember when, a thought occurs to me...

im driving home and a giant truck with those weird lights on top that look like mickey mouse ears, you know the one you need a ladder to get in to, speeds up in the 'you are supposed to merge into my lane' lane on the on ramp to the freeway and really guns it.

out loud, with no one else in the car, i slow down a bit and gently say:

go ahead honey. i had a good day and i really don't feel like ending it by being run over by a giant penis.

Corner View - Phoenix, AZ

When I was in college, I used to lie on the floor of my dorm room, on this multi-colored spiral wound rug from Pier One, with the only lights the strings of white Christmas lights I had pinned to the ceiling and listen to music loud. Sometimes I would just listen to the music, sometimes the words. My roommate moved out before the end of the first week so I was alone in there a lot. Just me, the twinkle lights and the music. It was great. From the looks of my little music lover, I see many evenings in my future staring at the lights and hearing the music. Only this time, I won't be alone.

Dancing Queen

So I totally forgot about this week's corner view until I opened my followed blogs today. Guess this deadline thing isn't working out as well as I thought. Soon, I'll get more creative. In the meantime, here's a small montage of some of our all American music fun.

The all American past time of playing Rock Band. He's concentrating so hard!

It must have been on my mind though cuz just yesterday I posted on Sevi's blog about dancing in the wind and I started to write about music after finding the wonderment that is http://www.list.fm/.

Baby music classes.
Mom's have fun too!


Don't forget to check out music in other corners of the world. And join us next week with 'staple foods' if you dare.
jane, ladybug-zen, ian, bonnie, esti, sophie, cele, modsquad,caitlin, joyce, ani, kim, a day that is dessert, natsumi, epe, kaylovesvintage, trinsch, c.t., jeannette, outi, schanett, ritva, francesca, state of bliss, jennifer, dana, denise, cabrizette, bohemia girl, dianna, isabelle, amber, a girl in the yellow shoes, mister e, janis, kari, jgy, skymring, elizabeth, audrey, allison, lise, cate, mon, victoria, crescent moon, erin, otli, amy, ida, caroline, lisa, dorte, kimmie, la lune dans le ciel, nicola, malo, vanessa, britta, virgina, april, b, kyndale samantha, karen, kristina, dorit, goldensunfamily, sophie, janet, mcgillicutty, desiree, di, travelingmama, aimee, sunnymama, amanda, ali, jenell, guusje, britta, juanita, pamela, inna, daan, myrtille, cris, ibb, susi, jodi, lily, gillian, jeanette, athena, pienduzz, latisha, clairette, satsuki

patience, a first lady, and the questions

It's long long overdue, but gratitude is in order. Thanks to Mamma Zen, I won a copy of this amazing novel a couple of weeks ago. After melting to my mailbox and sifting through piles of junkmail, a bright red bubble package saved me from utter heat stroke as I ran back to tear it open. Starving for good fiction, but feeling as though I had no time to dive in, I put the book on the back burner for a couple of days. Then I received a personal email from the author, Elissa Elliott, a biology teacher turned writer and novelist. Oh yah and she's a mom too.

Since I'm constantly looking for a magic mirror about how this whole writing thing is gonna turn out, I wrote her back and asked for her advice to a budding writer. I also wanted to know how she did it without the MFA in journalism or creative writing from Columbia or somewhere. As these are the source of many doubts I have about my impending success or failure. I'm a degree person, racking up too many certificates, BA's, AA's, and other alphabet soup to support my delusion that with education, with degree, I must be able to succeed -- or at least if I don't, I have some legitimacy. That's what my whole generation went to college thinking. That's the thinking that created the online education industry that now rakes in over $60 billion a year. So now we've got barista's with four year degrees making $8/hour. I'm sure that class on Comparative Studies of Religion and Art in 15th century India really helps when steaming that milk. My recent exposure to those lattes is what's keeping me from falling so quickly this time for the degree in writing trap. But, I still wonder if I should...

Anyway. Here's what she said of my questions: it's all about patience. Keep writing. Write what's in your heart, stop if it isn't working and switch to something else. But keep trying and know that it will take time.

I love this. In fact from asking every writer I know, what I'm figuring out is, that persistence and patience is really all it takes. All it takes? Yeah, I know as I write this I'm counting the number of times I've sat down to write in the last months very quickly. Making yourself come to the table everyday is a skill. An art form even. But, I'm confident if it's done, success will follow. It always has.

So then I wanted to know about being a writer, and here's where she offered the advice I'd yet to receive from anyone: Know that you have something to offer the world--that no one else can.

Every time I have a great idea, I think someone else has written it, or blogged about it, or submitted the book proposal for it. The thing is, though we all share many of the same experiences, we each have our own story to tell. It's what we find in the differences that make them compelling. A good friend recently said, of reading countless meditation and spirituality books: "No matter how many times it's told to me, I never tire of hearing it. Each one is told in a different way and speaks to me at a different moment in my life." So now I just have to figure out what it is I have to offer. Which brings us back to her first point. At the top of her blog is a quote that begins: Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. ...live in the question.

I'm eating up the advice of this storyteller and going to start having a little patience with my own unsolved mysteries. Please check her out. She's got a great blog. And an insightful 'on writing' bit where she talks about her method and offers a little more advice. I'll let you know when I'm done with Eve, so far I'm absolutely satiated.

Happy Solstice

Change is crazy. It makes me crazy anyway. I'm a fragile hippie gypsy trapped in a typical type-A body. It's sort of a Jekyll and Hyde situation. I literally tear apart my clothes and my laboratory when anything switches around. So the fact that, my world, my household, my people have been undergoing a cosmic shift these last few weeks has been, well, a little messy. It seems to me however, things have settled, at least for now, and I'm feeling a bit more at peace. I think it's fitting that this comes on the weekend of the summer solstice, the longest day of the year.

I've always been taken in by the idea of celebrating these magical days, picturing myself dancing around in my druid costume, honoring the heavens, seeing the night sky reflected in the great stones as we walk the long walk up the grass to gracefully accept the changing of the season. This year I may actually get my chance. A painful yet wonderful personal event earlier this year has prompted me to make the ideal a reality.

I'm getting more comfortable in my mommy skin, shedding the last bits of a depression I didn't realize existed. Sevilla is turning into a live little person complete with opinions and choices, which for me is so much easier than the grunty baby thing. I've recently experienced a family loss, which I have not fully honored, but has left me feeling as though every minute counts. My amazing husband has secured a fabulous new job complete with much better pay, but more than that, something he is proud of.

We are off to celebrate this weekend, not knowing what we were celebrating or how we would pay for it when we planned it a couple of months ago, just knowing it was time for celebration. We've been practicing gratitude and changing our intention over the last weeks and it's paying off. We will be stretching out the longest day of the year, taking in every second as we dance around in our druid costumes welcoming all this new change in a fancy spa in Scottsdale. We're not taking Sevi. She'll be celebrating her own change in her first overnight trip with the grandparents. Everyone is growing up.

Here's to you embracing your own changing of the seasons and that you celebrate every last second of this solstice weekend.

Corner View - Phoenix, AZ

Well, I've been sorta M.I.A. lately. It's been hard to come here since I've been having so much fun with some other creative outlets. But what a way to get back into the swing of it with another group blogging event. Jane over at Spain Daily started "Corner View" and I thought it'd be a great (and less intimidating than Shutter Sisters) way to inspire my recent photography bug. The idea is to see what the view is like in different corners of the world.

This week's theme is 'street fashion.' We live in the suburban desert of Phoenix and with 100 plus degree weather swimsuits are the order of the day.

Check out some other streets:

jane, ladybug-zen, ian, bonnie, esti, sophie, cele, modsquad,caitlin, joyce, ani, kim, a day that is dessert, natsumi, epe, kaylovesvintage, trinsch, c.t., jeannette, outi, schanett, ritva, francesca, state of bliss, jennifer, dana, denise, cabrizette, bohemia girl, dianna, isabelle, amber, a girl in the yellow shoes, mister e, janis, kari, jgy, skymring, elizabeth, audrey, allison, lise, cate, mon, victoria, crescent moon, erin, otli, amy, ida, caroline, lisa, dorte, kimmie, la lune dans le ciel, nicola, malo, vanessa, britta, virgina, april, b, kyndale samantha, karen, kristina, dorit, goldensunfamily, sophie, janet, mcgillicutty, desiree, di, travelingmama, aimee, sunnymama, amanda, ali, jenell, guusje, britta, juanita, pamela, inna, daan, myrtille, cris, ibb, susi, jodi, lily, gillian,
jeanette, athena, pienduzz, latisha, clairette, satsuki

Next week´s theme comes from Lisa and is "music."

how to climb a mountain

I'm feeling sorta wordless this week so instead of just disappearing into my own thoughts, I thought I'd share a few good words from some others.

This is from the beautiful poet Maya Stein.

how to climb a mountain

Make no mistake. This will be an exercise in staying vertical.Yes, there will be a view, later, a wide swath of open sky,but in the meantime: tree and stone. If you're lucky, a hawk will coast overhead, scanning the forest floor. If you're lucky,a set of wildflowers will keep you cheerful. Mostly, though,a steady sweat, your heart fluttering indelicately, a solid ache perforating your calves. This is called work, what you will come to know,eventually and simply, as movement, as all the evidence you need to make your way. Forget where you were. That story is no longer true.Level your gaze to the trail you're on, and even the dark won't stop you.

Nature Boy

For my cuz.

You gave me Fermin. You gave me fifth row center. You gave me Edith Piaf.

I love you. I miss you

Listen and remember.

Give Peas a Chance

When you open up a fresh pea, the smell of spring escapes with a snap and hiss like sprinkler turning on. Sitting with my bright blue bowl shucking and snapping four pounds of spring, I am once again eight years old laying on the lawn staring at the trees on the blue sky. As my fingers turn green so do my feet from the wet grass. Now 30, and mostly a SAHM, I have to look past the toys on the floor and the laundry on the chair but I can still find the little girl watching a butterfly come out of it's shell. My pile of green gems becomes a bounty of tiny tadpoles burst into life. All is right with the world.


Peas always put me in that in between place. Just before the last of it, just before the first of it. A safe place I've been hanging around a lot lately. Though the peas know to come at that perfect moment between spring and summer for just a short time where they are plentiful, purposeful, and delicious, I seem to long for that place often but often stay in that place too long. They know when to go. They know their place. I wish I knew mine.


It's the addicting excitement about new ideas, rebirth, and the constant feeling of being soaked in growth and discovery. Not actually doing anything, just finding them. I'm full of great ideas all the time. Basking in fresh spring mornings full of budding life I loathe the summer and it's demand for stillness, reflection, and sitting. Creating and doing is fun. Being at peace is work.

But this summer I'm trying. I'm letting deadlines go and not staying up nights thinking about them (honest). I'm sitting in the splash pad instead of sitting at my computer. I'm buying shampoo and fine with it. I'm watching her. Just watching. And smiling. I'm taking all day to finish one load of laundry and all week to unload the dishwasher.

And, at least for the summer, I'm NOT taking three days to make Wednesday Dinners. As an apprentice to nature, I understand the need for rest and even death in order to encourage new growth. So if the seasons can take a break, so can I. But in true bohomisfit fashion (inspired by a cooking class I took a couple of years ago from an original Phoenix locavore as well as a major 'get up trinity' morning last week), I had to go out with a bang. I mean, a snap and a hiss.


Sea Scallops in a Pea Tendril Broth topped with Pea Asiago Pesto

Broth
Saute 1 medium yellow onion and several heads of garlic in olive oil in a quart sized-sauce pan. Add discarded pea tendrils (from shucked fresh peas used below) and fill with vegetable broth (we make our own, but boxed or powder should be fine) or chicken broth. Add small amount of celery and carrot . Bring to a boil. Simmer while preparing the rest of dish.

Pesto
2 cups fresh peas (this was my yield after shucking 4 pounds)
1/2 cup-ish asiago cheese (also negotiable could try parma, sharp cheddar, manchego)
olive oil as needed
1/2 cup nuts (i used hazelnuts cuz that's what i had but I imagine it'd be good with anything)
1/2 cup fresh parsley
2 TB lemon juice
salt and pepper to taste

Place peas, cheese, lemon juice, parsley, and nuts in food processor and blend. Stream in olive oil until desired consistency. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Scallops
Lightly saute 1 cup of peas in a pan with olive oil. Push peas aside and saute scallops about 3-5 minutes on each side until slightly browned and firm but not hard.

Place three scallops in a shallow bowl. Cover with broth. Add a large dollop of pesto atop each scallop. Sop up remaining broth and extra pesto with a yummy European bread.

i am...

It seems to me I have the hardest time finding the easiest of things. Always looking for the best and brightest option I am a method girl. I have rules, ways, and they are not to be trifled with. You see inside of these methods lies all my confidence, understanding, and control of my world.

If a subject or challenge is newly presented I usually take it on with the excitement of a dog with a new toy. Ever chewing and tugging at it until not only has it lost any resemblance to a bone it is covered in my nasty slobber turning it some horrifying shade of gray. I will own this challenge. With research and development, with persistence and arrogance I know I will overcome.

So I read. A lot. I read books, newspaper articles, blog opinions. I google it. I ask everyone I know. Then I observe. Watching behaviors and habits taking notes and calculating efficiencies. Finally, I experiment. One, two, three, twenty times if I have to. I have, after all, a ton of educated research behind me.

Then one day, she walks over, and just chooses one. Loves it. It doesn't spill. We already own it (read no spending money). And I cry, just a little. I am in control...I am in control...I am...

Just stop

Kelly Rae's done it again. Check out her guest spot. What struck me most was this:

What I'm learning this week while i navigate these waters is this: that we are 100% allowed to stop - that we won't be forgotten if we do. that our overwhelm is a whisper worth listening to. that our dreams can absolutely change shape and our everyday lives/balance/routine can change accordingly. that we must speak up about our feelings of defeat/burnout/overwhelm, because we're not alone. and most importantly, that its our vulnerabilities that connect us and that we can soar, always soar on the brightness of being alive.

I'm always a little afraid to come here and say it all usually censoring a lot of real stuff. I mean I'm putting out there for so many strangers and (even more scary) people I know to glance over my words and judge. Yep I said it. And though I am still on my way to not giving a shit, most of the time I do.

But with a little power from a powerful little sprite I've never met here goes: I'm freaking tired. I hate making lattes and cleaning drains and I really could care less about little johnny's broken arm and how it got all sewed up. Most of all I hate that I have to do this and miss out on the zoo, a bike ride, and cooking up a fantastic meal with my favorite sous chef. i get it. I'm lucky, we are blessed and fortunate and all that shit, but man I'm tired.

remembering that...

Feeling tired again. Had a few minutes. Baby napping. Tried working on some drafted posts to throw up and that's just what they felt like. Throwup. Took laptop into my studio, opened the article I've been writing for three months, stared at the garden wall for 5 minutes. Watched the sunflowers grow. They smiled at me, I swear. I ran to the kitchen swallowed a little sunflower essence and finally welcomed the slowing beat of my heart and the heaviness of my body.

sigh...

SAHM I am not.

I'm working two jobs, well three if you count the mom stuff (at least that is what the pediatrician is kind enough to say!!) this week and last (I was smart enough to pre-write posts for last week, but I didn't have time for this week) so sorry if I miss a post or two. See you next week refreshed, better rested, and with so much to say!!!!!!!! No more parentheses, I promise.